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My initial thoughts of the show when it started was I loved the colors of the set. The set gave me the sense of being a comfortable, non-judgmental place. As if T.D. Jakes was truly there to listen and understand people. Selecting the topic of love to be the first show was brilliant. Love is something that everyone is curious about and desires. I noticed quite a few similarities between the guests he had on his show. What was the common thread amongst the guest?
- Love is intentional, it is an action word! It reminds me of the saying that most of us have probably heard one time or another, “actions speak louder than words.” When you love someone you must express your love to that person.
- When T.D. Jakes asked Devon Franklin how he keeps the love alive with his busy schedule. He immediately expressed that he and his wife are intentional about communicating that they miss each other or love each other. They send text messages, leave notes, and even call each other.
- Marvin Sapp responded similarly when he was asked how hard it is to be single parent. Technology has made it easier to be a parent because there are so many ways to connect with your children.
The common thread between the two of them was as longer are you are willing to be intentional in your relationship your love can grow. If you need some tips on being intentional, Jonathan and I have found FamilyLife’s book “ Tips To Romance Your Husband” and “Tips To Romance Your Wife” to be helpful in our marriage. Each book offers at least one hundred different ways to romance your spouse.
- Friendship is what holds a relationship together. Being friends with your spouse first will help your relationship last. It allows you to get to know each other and to connect with each other.
- Devon Franklin and his wife decided that they would not have sex until they were married. He explained that removing sex as an option allowed them to get to know each other, gave them a clear mind to decide if this is who they should marry, and help them identify their goals. I thought it was interesting that he said, “He didn’t have to compromise his beliefs (about being a believer and waiting until marriage) in his line of profession, being a producer.” His comment is scripture the bible says in Proverbs 18:16 “A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great.”
- Marvin Sapp and his wife had been friends since elementary school. They got married in their twenties. Their relationship was founded on friendship and as a result when his wife died his heart was truly broken. He lost his best friend, wife, and mother of his children.
When T.D. Jakes asked him what he misses most about not having his wife he said he misses their friendship. He misses having someone that truly knows who he is as a person. I thought it was interesting that his wife was thinking about him while she was dying. She put their bills online so he wouldn’t have to figure it out by himself.
Marvin Sapp explained that his wife was not a selfish person even up unto her death. It reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails.
I can definitely attest that friendship is very important in a relationship. It will carry you when the spark of your relationship is coming and going. Jonathan and I met when I was 12 years old. We lived 35 minutes away from each other. His dad was the pastor of our church. We would only see each other at church and for church functions such as: afternoon services, intercessory prayer, and bible study. We became best friends. After two years of being friends we started dating. It has been easy and we brought up a few times, briefly, during college but our friendship is what made us connected to each other. And now we are married and have three beautiful children.
It was nice to hear from celebrities about what makes their relationship work. However, I especially liked listening to Anisha and Stephen talk about their marriage because to me they represent everyday marriage. Now, I’m not saying that celebrities don’t have issues in their marriage. Clearly Marvin Sapp voiced the issue he has to face each day with being a widower. He expressed that every day he has to create a new normal for his life without his wife. However, the focus for the celebrities was about making love work.
Anisha and Stephen marital issues are pretty common therefore people would want to zone in to see how they can fix this issue in their own marriage. The common problems were:
- Finances
- Lack of self-fulfillment
- No trust
- Bad communication
How did T.D. Jakes address these common issues? By pointing them back to God and by having them focus on themselves rather than each other. Isn’t that the truth! The only person we have control over is ourselves. The solutions to our problems:
- Face our past so we can move forward. What challenges we faced in the past that is affecting our relationship now.
- Acknowledge that we need God to make our marriage work. When we invite God into our marriage we have someone to cast all our concerns on and he will help us get through them.
- Pray First. We have to learn to pray to God first before we speak to our spouse.
Another resource that Jonathan and I have found to be useful in our marriage is two books by Stormie Omartian, “The Power Of A Praying Husband” and “The Power of A Praying Wife.” Both of these books focus who we are as a wife and a husband.
In Conclusion, T.D. Jakes is a wonderful host for this show. He didn’t seem to rush anyone while they were speaking. He seemed to care more about what they had to say rather than getting his own thoughts in. Even though this was not a “Christian Show,” he didn’t exclude his faith. As a Christian myself, I enjoyed the subtle outreach for people to believe in God. It started with having pastors and believers as the guest on the show and then allowing them the freedom to speak about God. And then he ended the show by saying we need God to make it our marriage work. Excellent show! I am looking forward to watching next week’s episode.
