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The second episode to “Mind, Body, and Soul” was definitely an interesting topic “Man Talk: Sex, Power and Money.” T.D. Jakes had four men as the guest on the show Lamman Rucker, Luke James, Keith Sweat, and Laz Alonso. The idea of this show was to create a relaxed atmosphere where men can talk openly and freely, just like they would at the barber shop. From the time the show began, T.D. Jakes seemed very uncomfortable.
His comfort level could have been affected by the way the show started, Las Alonso immediately asked T.D. Jakes a question at the beginning of the show. He asked T.D. Jakes where the “barber shop” was located, on the corner or the church. He wanted to know exactly how candid they could be and that is when T.D. Jakes seemed nervous. After answering him and saying on the corner implying answer freely, he then said ‘Lord, help me!”
The show was very much a dialogue between men; women were just giving the opportunity to ease drop on their conversation. I believe there was a totally of 9 questions asked to the four guest. We are going to give each question and our thoughts about each question. Let’s begin with the first question!
1. Do women and men view power, sex, and money the same? The guest on the show all agree that they do not believe men and women view it the same. Lamman Rucker believes “Money gives men power therefore access to sex. Women use sex as power to get money.” What are your thoughts on the way men and women view power, sex, and money? Everyone’s view of power, sex, and money is based on our experiences.
When men have power and money it gives them access to sex. Men were created to have dominion, and money and power gives them dominion in the area sex. Women on the other hand, were created with a need for relationship. Women want relationship and they think sex will give them relationship, but desire and love are not the same so when sex is given and the relationship comes to an end women are hurt and confused. They have learned to use sex as a tool to get money and power but they are still lacking relationship so they are left feeling incomplete.
Is money and power enough for women? I would have to say no, it isn’t enough. That is why there are quite a few women who have money and power but they cheat with men who do not have either one. The bottom line is women were created with a need for relationship money and power is great but if there is no real relationship then we won’t be able to enjoy the money and power entirely.
2. Do you think you could remain celibate while dating someone until marriage? There was an even split between yes and no amongst the men. Keith Sweat said that he couldn’t without sex. Sex is one of the factors in determining how well he knows someone. Do you think you could remain celibate? I think so, but I need to know when this phase of our relationship will end. I am not the type to hang around a car lot. If I am there I plan on buying something. I don’t have a problem coming back to the dealership but at some point I want to know when I will be approved. I think, any man who is led by feelings will not be able to remain celibate. I think it would be refreshing to take sex off the table. It says that he truly wants to get to know who you are as a person.
3. Is cyber cheating, cheating? There was a bit of confusion about this question. Most agreed that it was cheating, Lamman said it depends on each couple and what they considering cheating. What are your thoughts Jonathan? Absolutely, we live a world where most of our living is through the computer. When dealing with women most of the intimacy is mental, this is definitely possible through the internet.
Women have to be careful because it is also easier to be played over the internet. I would say yes and no to the question is cyber cheating, cheating. I don’t consider flirting cheating and since it’s on the computer, in my mind it could only be flirting. However, according to God, it is cheating. The bible says in Matthew 5:28, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” For those of us striving to be like Christ the answer is, yes, it is cheating.
4. Do social media make it easier to cheat? All four men agreed, yes, it is definitely easier. I agree and so do I. It gives you access to more people and also increases your ability to be caught cheating as well. I won’t mention any names but a few professional athletes would have never been caught cheating if it had not been for social media. It also reminds me of an article “ Facebook ruined my marriage.”
5. Why do men cheat? Laz Alonso stated that he believes it has to do with lack of self discipline. T.D. Jakes explained that in his years of counseling he has found that men and women get married with different ideas. “Women get married seeing him as a project. I can change him! Men get married thinking, just don’t change.” So over time she changes and that sometimes leads to his infidelity. Why do you think men cheat Jonathan? I believe there are two kinds of men. Some men will cheat regardless, no matter what you do and some men allow themselves to cheat because of circumstances. For example, a long distance relationship or lack of sexual intimacy.
6. How can you tell whether a guy is a good guy or bad guy? Lamman Rucker immediately said, “He’ll tell you. Women don’t listen. If he says he isn’t interested in a relationship nothing you do will change that but women think her personality will change his mind.” Jonathan how do you think you can tell whether a guy is good or bad? A bad guy doesn’t care much about you and he won’t even act like he cares about you. A good guy, over time will invest in you.
7. Do boys need a father to understand how to be a man? Once again Lamman answered. I enjoyed hearing his points of view because I happened to agree with most of them. Lamman said, yes, a boy needs to see his father not only when he is in his twenties but also in his fifties and so on. Jonathan what is your thought on this question? Absolutely, a boy is just like a girl their first attempt to define themselves is by the one who raises you, that is why it should be your dad.
8. Why do young men like older women? Now this was hilarious. Luke James answered this question since he was the youngest on the stage. He answered with a huge smile for the sex. Young men can’t offer much and older women don’t want much, just sex. The women in the audience was disturbed by his answer she wanted a more meaning response. So, why do you think young men like older women? I don’t know why. The most attractive thing about an older woman is her retirement account! It makes the older women feel young and attractive. It’s an even exchange a fantasy for retirement fund. I think younger men are attracted to the maturity of older women. Older women tend to know who they are and they are comfortable in their own skin.
9. How long does it take a man to know whether a woman is marriage material? It isn’t something that you can tell right away. The men agreed with Lamman’s response that a women who has balance between being a good women and a freak in the bed, is marriage material. There is no time limit. A man can only tell whether a woman is marriage material by observing her in different environments. How she is with her family, your family, around children. Her current relationships help you understand what issues you may encounter with her in the future. If she is family oriented chances are divorce will be a last resort.
